We’re supposed to believe the committee was genuinely moved by Alabama’s performance in the Iron Bowl? Yeah, right.
CFP rankings adjustment gives Alabama breathing room if it loses SEC Championship game.
Weekly College Football Playoff dog and pony show is just programming until selection day.
As I watched College Football Playoff selection committee chairman Hunter Yurachek answer Rece Davis’ questions during ESPN’s latest round of its weekly dog and pony show, I considered the surrealism of it all.
I’m watching one grown man lie to another.
Court reporters must think the same thing.
Anyway, it beats digging ditches for a living.
Wouldn’t it be better for all of us, though, if a CFP selection committee chairman ever just told the truth in these interviews? Instead, we suffer through stories like how Alabama’s narrow win against a lousy Auburn team in the Iron Bowl helped it climb in the rankings — huh? — or that one particular play call inspired the committee to buoy the Tide.
Yeah, right.
With that in mind, I’ve reimagined how the interview could have gone, if all parties told the truth.
Davis: Alabama moved ahead of Notre Dame. Why?
Yurachek: Well, Rece, the committee looked at our rankings from the last couple of weeks, and we realized, ‘By gawd, we’ve got a problem.’ You see, if we kept Alabama at No. 10, we could have a wee issue of having to boot the SEC’s runner-up, if BYU won the Big 12 championship and Georgia beats Alabama.
Davis: Right. The rest of us noticed that weeks ago.
Yurachek: Well, cut us some slack. Our last chairman quit a few weeks ago, remember? Doing the best we can while some of us juggle full-time jobs. I just hired a football coach. Did you notice?
Davis: I did notice. How are the fans taking to the hire there in Hogville?
Yurachek: Erm, don’t you have another playoff question you want to ask?
Davis: Sure. So, you’re not going to want to have a team lose in the SEC championship game and get bumped out, if BYU wins the Big 12. Did that come up in the room?
Yurachek: You bet your heinie it did. If we boot the SEC’s runner-up, we’ll never hear the end of it from Greg Sankey. He’d threaten to break off and stage his own playoff or start talking about “Sesame Street” again, and nobody wants another round of that.
Davis: So, you’re saying that Alabama moving up in the rankings had nothing to do with the Tide’s performance against Auburn, or Kalen DeBoer’s gutsy fourth-down play call?
Yurachek: Are you serious? Alabama looked miserable for most of that second half. No, the rankings adjustment didn’t have to do with the Iron Bowl. We just realized we had a potential problem, if we kept Alabama at No. 10. Tell ya the truth, though, we’d love it if Alabama lost the SEC championship game and BYU lost, too. Then, do you know what we’ve cooked up?
Davis: Pretty sure I do, but I’m going to pretend I don’t, to create a little suspense.
Yurachek: Sure. Right. Suspense. Let’s do a little of that. *Dramatic pause.*
Davis: *Waiting.*
Yurachek: Was that suspenseful enough?
Davis: I guess.
Yurachek: Great. So, if Alabama loses and BYU loses, what we’ll do is flip Notre Dame back to No. 9, and Alabama back to No. 10. That way, we can avoid Oklahoma-Alabama and Texas A&M-Notre Dame rematches in the playoff. We’ll cook up Oklahoma-Notre Dame and Texas A&M-Alabama instead.
Davis: Right. I can see that.
Yurachek: So, Alabama being No. 9 is just a placeholder, so we can keep the Tide in the bracket if they lose to Georgia and BYU wins the Big 12.
Davis: Wouldn’t this be easier if we skipped this weekly charade and waited until the end of the season to reveal the rankings?
Yurachek: Of course. But, the suspense, right? Plus, ESPN needs to give you something to do on Tuesdays.
Davis: Good point. Job security for me. OK, let’s get to head-to-head. You’re honoring head-to-head by ranking Oklahoma ahead of Alabama.But, you’ve still got Notre Dame ahead of Miami. Neither of those teams play this weekend. Can they still move in the rankings, or are they set?
Yurachek: Rece, we can do whatever we darn well please. Nothing’s set. Are you kidding me? We could put the king of England in a first-round game against Lane Kiffin if we wanted.
Davis: I don’t think you can actually do that.
Yurachek: Well, maybe not. Lane would probably quit before the game. But, point is, nothing’s set. Remember, this is all just programming and #content until Selection Sunday.
Davis: Yes, and job security for me.
Yurachek: Bingo, buddy.
Davis: So, we’re not set with Miami definitively being behind Notre Dame, no matter what?
Yurachek: Rece, how many times are you going to ask me about Miami-Notre Dame?
Davis: I’ll take that as Miami still having a chance.
Yurachek: Everyone’s still got a chance until we say they don’t on selection day. Except Vanderbilt. They’re out.
Davis: Why?
Yurachek: Do you really have to ask?
Davis: No, but getting back to Miami.
Yurachek: This again? Ask me about something else.
Davis: OK, so this coaching hire you made . . .
Yurachek: Uh, never mind that. Didn’t you have something you wanted to ask me about Miami?
Davis: Yeah, so, nothing’s set until it’s set?
Yurachek: I think you’re getting the idea, Rece.
Blake Toppmeyer is the USA TODAY Network’s senior national college football columnist. Email him at BToppmeyer@gannett.com and follow him on X @btoppmeyer.